Checklist

There is indeed a checklist of things to do while I'm out here in Jersey and since it's almost new years I think it's time for a midterm report and maybe even give myself a grade at the end.

Remember that some of these ideas for the checklist are brand new so they haven't been checked off yet but a lot of them are written in my actual journal that I wrote during my first week here.  That's the last time I picked up too.

Also these are more touristy things and do not reflect the spiritual growth that is taking place daily. If you wish I can write about that another time.

In no particular order..

Figure out how to teach (> ) -that's half a check
Figure out the wrong way to teach (X)
Learn to fist pump (X)
Visit the Shore (X)
Figure out how to navigate Newark (X)
Manhattan (X)
the rest of NYC (X)
Hoboken ( )
Jersey City (X)
Go to a game at Yankee Stadium (X)
The new Meadowlands Stadium (X)
See a Devils Game(X)
Visit Madison Square Garden ( )
Take a walk in Central Park (X)
Go to the Statue of Liberty ( )
Empire State ( )
Basically do the highlighted tour of NYC ( ) *I think I'm holding out for visitors to come with me..
Pick a fight with a Yankee Fan (X) *he was 14, no fists were thrown.
See a Guido (X)
Get offered to buy drugs on a street corner (X) *technically it wasn't the corner but whatever.
Learn how to Dougie ( ) *I'm currently working on this one!
Figure out how Tyler Perry's movies have grossed 400 million dollars ( )
Figure out NYC Subways (X)
Volunteer to help coach Baseball at St. Benedict's (X)
Make Scotch my official Drink of choice ( ) *my taste buds might be too immature to appreciate this yet.
Take a few weekend trips to Philly, D.C., Boston (X) Philly - Check
Read Books for enjoyment (X) *accomplished several times over (see books to read blog for updates)
Improve my pool playing (X)
And also get nicknamed Minnesota Fats because of my pool prowess ( ) skipping this out of respect for Fats
Become better at living simply (X) I think I'm getting good at this...
Not grow to hate High Schoolers (X) digging the kids here as long as I don't have to be the responsible one
Make friends with no affiliation with the school or Monastery ( )
Gloat and brag after a Minnesota team beats any NYC team ( ) *haven't had a chance yet.. C'mon 'Sota I'm getting killed over here!

Update! I now have 21 out of 32 done.  that's just over half but since this grade is curved to the Max I'm giving myself a B as of May 14th.

If any one has any thoughts on things I should add to me list I would love to hear them!

Guilt.

I've often thought about the feeling of guilt.  Where does it come from?  Is it something that everyone traces back to their Mother some day?  It has been used in conjunction with Catholicism, being Irish, or even Midwestern.  All of these would describe me (although it's less amazing when you find out that I wouldn't have written them down if they didn't).  Last night I was watching the Gopher basketball game and they were upset by Virginia.  I couldn't help but feel somehow responsible..  Maybe if I watched a little more closely or cheered a little bit harder or even said a prayer...

As a side note I'd like to point out that I don't believe in prayer when it comes to sports.  The only exception is player injuries.  I feel like God has more important things to look over something that ultimately has very little real meaning..

Getting back to my point:

It's a strange feeling when I feel guilty for something that I know I have no control over.  I think that part of my guilt comes from being a Minnesota sports fan and the helplessness that comes along with that.  But I just feel like there is something I could be doing to help.  Now that I'm a teacher (and I use that term loosely) I feel guilty when a student does poorly on a test, like it's my fault..  Conversely though I'm proud of the student who does well and I feel it reflects very well on the good student and not at all on his teacher..

Does that make any sense?  The good students do well because they work hard, study, and come prepared while the poor students have a poser for a teacher.  Looking at that last sentence it sounds absurd and I hope it is.  I know somewhere in my rational brain that a few of these kids are going to have to learn how to take care of themselves and take responsibility for their education but I feel like I can some how help with that but have been unable to get through to them.

I have 8 students out of 30 that are currently failing my class.  4 of them should have absolutely no trouble earning a passing grade, a couple are on the fence and  I'd say 2 are in a deep hole.  I feel guilty but I don't want to start calling parents to tell them that their child is "in danger of failing." I'd almost rather deal with an angry parent after the semester and say that your child failed because he didn't do anything to stop it.

My class is different than others only because I don't want to treat high schoolers as high schoolers.  I want them to be responsible and I will give them the grade they deserve.  I don't take attendance, mark people tardy, or as of very recently accept late work.  Mr. Turek's motto that the world is run by those who show up is something I want to ring true in my class.  Especially since my class is Civics and they should probably learn that it's important to show up and take a stand on issues we care about.  Some kids seem to need a drill sergeant for a teacher and I don't think that is something I can become.  I feel like a toughy when I don't go all over the world to get on a kid's case to make sure he passes his class.  That should be his job.

But I feel guilty about it afterwards..

Happiness

A few weeks ago I gave up my Saturday morning to administer the SAT.  It's a fairly simple job, hand out the materials, read the instructions, make sure they don't cheat, then collect the materials.  That leaves a lot of time sitting in the back of the class room.  So as I was doing this I picked up a book that I felt like I should have been forced to read at some point in my high school career but some how I must have slipped through the cracks.  It was Into the Wild, by Jon Krakauer. I didn't finish the whole book that morning but since then I've been picking it up now and then and reading a chapter or two.  It's broken up nicely where the chapters don't necessarily depend on one another so it is very easy to read it over a long period of time.  Anyway the other night I ran across this passage about happiness.  I believe it's actually a quote from Tolstoy's Family Happiness but I'm not certain of this and too lazy to check.  Anyway the passage really spoke to me because it put into words a definition of happiness that I feel like I've been wrestling with for a long time so I wanted to share this will all (4) of my readers out there.

     I have lived through much, and now I think I have found what is needed for happiness.  A quiet        secluded life in the country, with the possibility of being useful to people to whom it is easy to do good, and who are not accustomed to have it done to them; then work which one hopes may be of some use; then rest, nature, books, music, love for one's neighbor - such is my idea of happiness.  And then, on top of all that, you for a mate, and children, perhaps - what more can the heart of a man desire?


None of that is new or revolutionary to me but I guess I just never heard it all put together in such a way before.  If I could, by the grace of God, manage to have a life like the one Tolstoy describes, I can't imagine it being anything but bliss.

The thing that I find most important at this stage in my life is the part about work, "which one hopes may be of some use;" I believe I have found very meaningful work here at St. Benedict's and I'm lucky because as a volunteer here the work I do is rarely unnoticed and it is hardly a thankless job.  But sadly that isn't true for all teachers out there.  But going further, this passage doesn't say anything about having money to support a family or being able to know exactly where your next meal is coming from and precisely when your check will be deposited into your checking account.  I just want to be able to find more meaningful work after all this.  That's the first part of Tolstoy's little checklist I'm going to work on.

Why not try for a little dialog?  How do you define Happiness?

Newark in October

Hello all,

I think I warned you that I'm not very good at staying on top of this blog thing but know that I'm considering giving this my best effort in the very near future.  I saw that I haven't posted anything since September and I don't want to for zero for October (as a baseball fan that is about the worst thing that could ever happen).

Let's start with some of the cool things I've seen.  Last week I jumped at the opportunity to go to a football game at the New Meadowlands Stadium.  This wasn't just any football game though, this was the longest uninterrupted series in college football.  Notre Dame vs. Navy, they have played each other every year since 1927.  And being a huge Notre Dame fan I couldn't pass up a chance to see the Irish play (especially when free tickets fall into my lap the day before the game).  The fact that it was at a brand new stadium (home of the New York Giants and Jets) made the deal even sweeter.

The game itself was actually terrible.  Navy squashed my Irish team 35 -17 and the score makes the game seem closer than it actually was.  Navy and their option attack made Notre Dame look foolish for not adding an extra line backer to their defensive scheme.  The Irish stayed in a 5 - 2 defense all game at got torched.  Navy threw the ball 3 times in the whole game and still managed to rack up over 350 yards of offense and put 35 points on the board.

So if you aren't up on your football lingo, basically the game was a bloodbath. But, the day turned out to be one of the nicest afternoons of the fall, partly cloudy and just the right temperature for football on a Saturday afternoon so you certainly won't hear any complaints from me.

Another thing I can cross off my bucket list is going to an NHL game.  Who would have thought that a kid from the State of Hockey would have to move to New Jersey to see his first professional hockey game?  Apparently St. Benedict's has some connections with the New Jersey Devils (irony?) and we went with a bunch of kids from the school.  The tickets were a gift to the school and each student got a Devils t- shirt and a towel (like a knock off version of a Homer Hankie I guess) I swung by after the line of kids went through and got one of each for myself as well.  So I got to see the Devils lose to the Pittsburgh Penguins.  I was really excited to see Sidney Crosby, one of the brightest young stars of the game (and the guy who won the Olympic Gold Medal game for Canada handing the U.S. team the Silver).  Crosby played his High School Hockey at Shattuck in Faribault, MN so I kind of claim him as one of us.  The Prudential Center is a fairly new venue and it was very similar to the Excel Energy Center as far as size and layout goes so I felt very much at home there.

But besides attending sporting events I have been doing a bit of educating here and there.  The semester is in full swing and my Civics class is finally about to take off.  Why is it that it takes months to get through the background of the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights leaving me just less than half the semester to get through the 3 branches of government, key supreme court cases, set up a mock trial, oh and try and incorporate the election into class somehow?  You would think that it would be easy to work in the election to Civics class but since I don't think I'm going to vote this year on account that I have no idea who any one is in Minnesota who is running for Governor and I don't even know what offices are up for re election in Newark it's going to be hard for me to work it into my class.  On a side note: I'm not sure if that sentence makes sense to anyone at all.  It might be a giant run on but hopefully you can figure it out.  Also, could some one please explain to me what the Tea Party is all about and this supposed witch running for office?  I don't even know what channel the news is on here and I'm actually perfectly ok with not knowing what is going on in the world of politics.  I would be better off teaching a government course as opposed to a political science course.  As far as personal politics go I will say that I am the most unpredictable voter ever so I don't want to field a bunch of political questions because I know I'll have no clue how to answer them.

So as you can see I have a lot to learn about my subject still but I' staying a chapter ahead of my class at least.  So I could be doing a lot worse.  One of the harder parts of being a volunteer teacher with no experience is that if I want to give the kids homework I have to do it too because I need to make a key.  I have no teacher's edition to the book so everything they've done, I've done.  Needless to say I haven't given out much homework this semester :)

Well I guess that's pretty much the news and it's time I hit that old dusty trail.  I wish you all a great rest of the week.  You are all in my thoughts and prayers daily.

Live long and Prosper,
(Forgive me, I couldn't think of a better salutation)

Michael

This update is outdated..

This small bit is from a reflection I wrote after completing the Camino de Santiago Compostela.  It was a 3 week long hiking trip across Northern Spain that I completed in June of this year.  I wasn't going to share because I don't think I did that good of a job of writing it but since I have starving readers out there I figured, why not?  So without further delay:

Besides the relationships that were forged and sealed with each step the Camino has taught me two important lessons that I hope to uphold till the day I die.  Now as soon as I wrote that a million other thoughts of the multitude of lessons I learned came flooding into my consciousness.  Like for instance, the versatility of olive oil; that stuff is good on anything and the word sopa is not Spanish for soup (a lesson that I learned all too well).  But aside from all the wonderful pearls of wisdom I picked up along the way the most important thing I gathered was the value of simplicity.  Walking the Camino and being a pilgrim is such a simple life.  Don’t get me wrong I’m not using the word simple to mean the opposite of difficult as indeed walking the holy path can be trying and exhausting especially without frequent Aqarius and Café con leche stops and at times café con Bailey’s is needed.

Living a simple life is one that can seem so hard today with all the gadgets and possessions that make life crazy cool.  But it is so amazing and at the same time terrifying how much ‘stuff’ a 23 year old can accrue.  When I got home I went through old boxes of clothes and cut my earthly possessions down by 60% I’d say.  Where does this stuff come from?  How can someone accumulate so many t – shirts in four years of college?  I just got back from Spain where for 3 weeks I not only survived but thrived on 4 shirts, 3 pairs of shorts, 4 pairs of socks, s pairs of boxers and 2 pairs of compression shorts.  It was so great to not have to worry about what you were going to wear. Everything I needed to take care of fit not so nicely into my back pack.  I hesitate to say that back in the real world I have to keep tabs on a lot more aspects of life but it’s realistic.  As much as I would like to I can’t go through life only worrying about my journey and that’s the toughest part.  I need to be mindful of others and keep a watchful eye out for trials and tribulations that others go through each day in case there is something that I can do to make their lives more enjoyable.  I got a sense of that during the Camino, mostly with people sharing their wine openers with us but even the people that were so quick to offer advice and hiking tips whether  we asked for them or not.

So now I’m at a place where I’m trying to explain how I learned about the concept of a simple life but it already is starting to seem like this lifestyle is only applicable to people who can afford (or get student loans to cover) to go to Northern Spain and walk around for 3 weeks.  As a writer you know you are in rough shape when you start to get confused by what you are saying so I’m going to continue my quest for simplicity.  It’s an ongoing process and it’s really hard to stick to.  One great way to help me with that goal is my volunteer work with the Benedictine Abbey of Newark New Jersey.  The Benedictines are the kings of simplicity.  The extremely elementary explanation of the lifestyle is moderation.  There are things you don’t need.  I don’t need to get a cookie after lunch.  There is always a jar full of them and they are delicious but it’s not needed.  They are like a test.  I don’t need to go out to bars on the weekends and drink.  Or if I do drink I don’t need to drink until I need to be carried home.  There is no reason to.  And sure, I could watch television all day but why not pick a show to watch and when it’s over, go out and do something else?  There are things in life that are so easy to get caught up in and the next thing you know you’ve wasted your whole day or 5 years of your life.  I remember being in Spain and the thought of sitting in front of a T.V. for more than 10 minutes seemed completely foreign.  At the time I couldn’t imagine not walking all day and then going to bed.  But back in America it has become customary to build in some down time in your day.  There are times when I literally have nothing to do.  It’s important to rest, relax, and recuperate but not at the expense of becoming slothful and a waste of space.

The way I’m trying to simplify my life beyond the activities of daily life is to forego the human tendency to micromanage my life.  Too many people today try and plan out the next five years of their lives and then go into shock when it all goes horribly wrong.  I don’t know if God has a plan or not but I sure as hell don’t.  At this point in my life I am happy with the direction I’m going.  I finished college in a reasonable time frame.  I’m volunteering for a year in New Jersey and when I get back I hope to find some meaningful work.  That’s about all I know.  I don’t know where I will be in five years and that is what makes it so much fun.  Sure it’s a little bit scary, but exciting nonetheless.  My good friend Molly now lives in San Francisco and works out there for the time being and I met up with her before we both left Minnesota (she left the week before I left) and it was tough saying good bye but when she asked when the next time she’d see me I started to laugh and said I have no idea.  We are close enough that I’m confident our paths will cross again but for now the directions we chose for ourselves are leading us away from each other.  We aren’t going to fight it and try to make sure we end up living on the same block in 20 twenty years so we can hang out and watch basketball games together.  We are just going to take it one day at a time.

That was my favorite part about the Camino, not even looking at the itinerary or maps.  I don’t recall even bringing my maps to Spain.  I left that at home so my Mom could have an idea of what I was in for each day.  But they were about as useful to her as they were to me as they were written in Spanish.  If you can imagine she speaks even less Spanish that me.  The things that bothered me were the mile markers.  Someone would always start the countdown of kilometers and I couldn’t help but feeling relieved when we only had a few more to go for the day.  But what was I looking forward too?  Having dinner, a bottle of wine and going to bed like the last 2 weeks straight?  The trail is the only thing that changed from day to day.  It was the reason we were there.  If we wanted to go to Santiago so bad we would have just flown in.  I just wanted to walk until I got to a point where I was too tired to walk anymore.  I didn’t want to start looking for the next town because I ended up missing what was going on right in front of me or right under my feet. 

That’s why I say no more goals.  No more five year plans.  The only things that matter are the choices that are in front of us right now.  If we pay attention to what’s happening now and take our time in order to make a good decision we won’t have to worry about ending up in a tight spot 5 years down the road because we’ll know that we wouldn’t make any different choices.  It reminds me of a saying that goes something to the tune of, I’m not late if I arrived exactly when I meant to.  Well five, ten, fifteen years down the road I’ll be exactly where I am supposed to be.  That is as simple as I can make it. 

Guess who forgot they have a blog

This guy.

Life has picked up with the intensity a bit as school has started.  I teach one class a day 2nd period Civics.  So far the class is going well but due to some scheduling difficulties with some of the students I started out day 1 with roughly 15 young men in my class.  I felt like I hit the jackpot.  Day 2 rolls around and about 4 more guys show up, no problem.  Day 3, Friday, a couple more... Well suffice it to say I have around 25 guys in my class now.  All the desks are full and I have to be constantly moving about the class room even as I am talking because I've found that these kids feel intimidated if the teacher stands near them.  It's that way even if they did nothing wrong.  Some of the kids are getting a bit complacent because the material in the first unit is really easy.  I mean it's basically a joke.  I thought about skipping the first unit so I could get into some of the founding documents of America but then I realized that this first unit (3 chapters) could be like a warm up for me to get my feet set before we get off and running.  It occurred to me that maybe I should just go through the first unit quick because it'll give the impression that I know what I'm talking about.  Because soon enough I'm going to be reading the book just to stay a day or two ahead of class so I know what's going on.  Thus far I just looked at the vocab from the first chapter and then cut the kids loose on the vocabulary words and the chapter reviews.

I'm pretty excited for tomorrow, I'm playing the review game from Mr. Turek's class.  For those of you who don't remember or aren't from LSH, it's basically a game where the class is split into two teams and one person comes up at a time and draws a slip of paper out of the "hat" (it may actually end up being my hat because I don't have Mr. Turek's little yellow tupperware container) and that slip of paper has a vocabulary word or a main idea from the chapter.  The student must then give clues to his team in order to get them to shout out the word on the slip.  If a student doesn't know what the word means then they have the option of asking me for a clue, doing this will reduce the value of the round from 2 points (if they can do it without help) to 1 point.  I'll let you know how the game goes and which team wins but I'll be honest it might not be for a few weeks.

After that I will have a test on Friday.  Hopefully they knock it out of the park because I've given them a 3 x 5 note card to copy down as much info as they can fit on it for use as a cheat sheet.  I wasn't going to allow them to use their notes because the test in basically all vocabulary words which they've been copying down each day.  But I wanted to make sure they could have some resource because I don't believe test taking is applicable to real life.  At what point in your professional life has your boss asked you to do something but hasn't allowed you to ask any one for help, look up information from a credible source?  I can't imagine that happening.  So I'm not going to tell them to sit down for 80 minutes and try and remember everything we've been over the last 7 days (when some of the kids have only been in class for 4) and regurgitate it pack to me on the test.

Remember in school when a teacher told you that you had to give a presentation to the class and that it should be at least 20 minutes?  They'd give you a weeks notice too.  I have to figure something for these kids to do for 80 minutes everyday.  It's really more like 70 minutes because I am never prepared enough to start class on time but still.  This teaching thing ain't as easy as it looks.  I usually ask them to write on an open ended question for about 20 minutes and then spend another 15 -20 discussing what they wrote.  That's a great way to burn half the period and it can be very productive.

But listen to me go on and on about being a teacher.  How selfish of me.  Let's talk about you.  How's life?  Oh it's really hard to have a 2 way conversation in a blog post?  Ok then more about my life...

Last Saturday I had one of the single greatest days of my life.  Mr. Scanlan, the assistant Head Master took Kevin, Trey, and I out on his boat in the New York Harbor and down a river whose name I have long since forgotten.  His boat is an architectural marvel, absolutely gorgeous.  But the thing that made the day great was that there wasn't a cloud in the sky.  It was somewhere in the mid 70's with a nice calming breeze.  Seeing Manhattan from the water is one of the best ways to view the city.  If I knew how to post a picture on here I would show you but I'd rather you head out here and see for yourself.

I'm struggling to think of some fancy concluding remarks so I think I'll just end it at that.  I need to write up a test and make up that game for tomorrow, plus I have to go to  a faculty meeting at 7:45 tomorrow morning (thumbs down) and I'm about to waste the next two hours of my life watching Master Chef.

Stay Classy San Diego.

First. Blog. Ever.

This is life as I know it.  I am now a college graduate and since I don't know what I want to do with my own life I've decided to give a year of service to St. Benedict's Prep in Newark, New Jersey.  I got hooked up through St. John's Abbey.  So far I'm digging it.  I live about 10 miles from NYC (I've been there 3 times so far) and just a few blocks away from downtown Newark.

In an attempt to keep myself from rambling on about anything and everything I think I'm going to start out with a FAQ format (note: I will guarantee that I will have posts that have no central thesis and like this one, will be in the passive voice so deal with it).

Do I live in a Monastery?  Yes and no.  I live on Monastic grounds but the other two volunteers and myself live in a separate dormitory called Turrell House.  I eat about 95% of my meals with the monks and I go to Benedictine prayer once a day (that's the idea anyway).

I do not have to wear a habit.


What do I do here?  Great Question actually.  Starting in September the official school year will begin and I will be a teacher.  I am teaching a civics class that was started by Jacob Barnes, a Benedictine Volunteer from Last year.  It's a bit odd though because I'm not exactly sure what Civics is..  I need to get a hold of the book and give it a read before I walk into that class room.

As for right now, St. Benedict's has a "summer phase" which is the first term that runs 5 weeks spanning from the end of July to the end of August.  Students take some electives, start practicing their sports and what not.  So Kevin,Trey (the other volunteers from St. John's) and I are visiting some classrooms to see how different teachers handle their class, it's also a way to get to know some of the guys here (did I mention it's an all boys school?).  We are on call for being a substitute teacher if crisis occurs but basically we are just hanging out and settling in.

Do I have my own Room? You bet I do.  It's huge.  I have two Twin Xl mattresses pushed together but I only have one set of sheets.  So I'm thinking about buying a King sized set and a king sized foam pad.  Little did I know those things are like 60 bucks each!  That is so lame.  I mean I suppose I will spend one third of my time in Newark in that bed so it might be a good investment...  But still..  Besides my bed I have two desks, like four office chairs (don't ask why but I roll across the tiled floor all the time), 3 cabinet / closet type things with all sorts of shelves and an AC unit.  So I've got a pretty decent set up here.

The biggest difference between Newark and Home?
Sirens.  Apparently cops and ambulances go by all the time when you live in a big city.  Who knew?  I don't live in a bad neighborhood (by Newark standards) but there is a Hospital a few blocks away and the Monastic Grounds are right on a main road, Martin Luther King Jr Blvd.  Other differences are: it's not the best idea to walk around at night by yourself.  I'm from Le Sueur people.  I always walked around at night, we played night tag for most of my life and we ran over the entire town.  I walked alone down dark streets and to top it off I walked down the middle of the street because there are seldom any sidewalks.  Out here it's  a bit different and it'll take getting used to.  One of the best things here is what is known as Chicken Shack.  A Chicken Shack is any place that sells fried chicken.  There are so many that it doesn't really matter what it's actually called.  Be it KFC, Popeyes, or a Mom and Pop shop it matters little.  To avoid confusion you just say you are going to the nearest chicken shack.  And God Bless this place there is a chicken shack within 3 blocks of you no matter where you are!

Do I miss my Family and Friends?
Absolutely.  I feel so blessed that I have such a great family and a wonderful group of friends to miss.  It sucks being away but I am very lucky to be able to know what it means to miss the people you love and be missed by them.  I say a prayer for you all everyday with the monks.

Will I be able to come home during the year?
Yes.  I will for sure be home for Christmas and Easter.  Thanksgiving is a long shot.  Unless Mom and Dad want to buy me a plane ticket..  But I can't make that drive (24 hrs) twice in 5 days.  Also, and I preface by saying that planning is in the wee infant stages but Kevin, Trey and I are thinking about coming back for SJU homecoming.  It's Tommie - Johnnie weekend and it'd be nice to see everyone I've lived with for the last four years. We have no idea how we are going to get back and to be honest I don't know when Homecoming is; sometime in October I presume.

Do I want to Write anymore tonight?
Not really.  This is beginning to feel like work.  If there are anymore questions, fire away.  The idea is to periodically write on here but we'll see what happens once I actually start working.

Peace everyone!