Guilt.

I've often thought about the feeling of guilt.  Where does it come from?  Is it something that everyone traces back to their Mother some day?  It has been used in conjunction with Catholicism, being Irish, or even Midwestern.  All of these would describe me (although it's less amazing when you find out that I wouldn't have written them down if they didn't).  Last night I was watching the Gopher basketball game and they were upset by Virginia.  I couldn't help but feel somehow responsible..  Maybe if I watched a little more closely or cheered a little bit harder or even said a prayer...

As a side note I'd like to point out that I don't believe in prayer when it comes to sports.  The only exception is player injuries.  I feel like God has more important things to look over something that ultimately has very little real meaning..

Getting back to my point:

It's a strange feeling when I feel guilty for something that I know I have no control over.  I think that part of my guilt comes from being a Minnesota sports fan and the helplessness that comes along with that.  But I just feel like there is something I could be doing to help.  Now that I'm a teacher (and I use that term loosely) I feel guilty when a student does poorly on a test, like it's my fault..  Conversely though I'm proud of the student who does well and I feel it reflects very well on the good student and not at all on his teacher..

Does that make any sense?  The good students do well because they work hard, study, and come prepared while the poor students have a poser for a teacher.  Looking at that last sentence it sounds absurd and I hope it is.  I know somewhere in my rational brain that a few of these kids are going to have to learn how to take care of themselves and take responsibility for their education but I feel like I can some how help with that but have been unable to get through to them.

I have 8 students out of 30 that are currently failing my class.  4 of them should have absolutely no trouble earning a passing grade, a couple are on the fence and  I'd say 2 are in a deep hole.  I feel guilty but I don't want to start calling parents to tell them that their child is "in danger of failing." I'd almost rather deal with an angry parent after the semester and say that your child failed because he didn't do anything to stop it.

My class is different than others only because I don't want to treat high schoolers as high schoolers.  I want them to be responsible and I will give them the grade they deserve.  I don't take attendance, mark people tardy, or as of very recently accept late work.  Mr. Turek's motto that the world is run by those who show up is something I want to ring true in my class.  Especially since my class is Civics and they should probably learn that it's important to show up and take a stand on issues we care about.  Some kids seem to need a drill sergeant for a teacher and I don't think that is something I can become.  I feel like a toughy when I don't go all over the world to get on a kid's case to make sure he passes his class.  That should be his job.

But I feel guilty about it afterwards..